teamzaylor (teamzaylor) wrote,

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The Bodyguard - Chapter 52

Chapter: 52
Rating: Nc-17
Warnings: Language, Death, Crime
POV: Blade
Chapter Overview: Link

About the Story: The death of their parents broke Taylor and Zac apart. Each of them went his own way of life, Taylor became a famous superstar and never thought that his profession would bring his life in danger someday. Blade (Zac) buried the past and lived his life contentedly in his dark and dirty world as a pimp. Because of some unexpected circumstances Blade got hired as Taylor's bodyguard and the brothers saw each other for the first time after almost a decade.
How will they overcome the shadows of the past?

Authors Notes: We're very proud that our The Bodyguard Fan Fiction has already reached 50 Chapters. 1,5 years has been passed since we started it and the story still means a lot to us Team Zaylor girls. This is just a side note to say thank you again to everyone, we will keep up our work and hope you'll always enjoy reading our story! <3

Chapter 53 will be posted in Zactober! :) Enjoy ♡

previous Chapter 51                                                                                                                                                                next Chapter 53


When we finally arrived at the old man's bar, without any unneccesary fan carnage, I w
alked straight into the saloon where I found Santiago sitting at a table in a corner. Good thing during lunchtime, there were no people inside, except Santiago and Nathaniel.

My stomach was grumbling for hours but I couldn't be relieved until Taylor would finally eat something. He was lying in my arms, his left hand holding the cotton of my shirt between his fingers tightly in his sleep. I smelled the scent of his blond hair which
tickled my chin. It smelled like spring flowers.

As the old man caught sight of me and Taylor lying in my arms, the expression on his face darkened immediately.

"What the fuck, Blade? What are you doing?" He snarled at me like a bulldog. Probably he thought I knocked my brother out because of our discrepancies.

"Well, I grabbed the tail of a flying monkey and let go of it as it flew past your saloon. You know to save gas and stuff..." I began, trying to play unaware. Some self entertainment could never be wrong.

"Stop talking nonsense and give me a clear answer asap!" Santiago bellowed and banged his fist on the table. I smirked because he could be as impatient as I was. It always provided possibilities to tick each other off in a father son kind of way.

"I've told you, that I will come later with my brother, Santa." I replied, not wasting my time with a greeting and walked towards the table at which he sat.

None of us ever said hello to each other. Probably because we also weren't good at saying goodbyes...

"What have you done with him? Huh? You should protect your brother, not to sweep him off his feet!"
He rebuked me as we reached him, looking at me reproaching, then and my sleeping brother.

"Chill the fuck down, he's breathing. He's just fallen asleep!"

"And where is the little buddy?"

"Still in my car."

"Then hurry up, bring your brother into the back room and lay him onto the corner bench. Avanti!"

Santiago commanded in his typical mexican accent. He then took his crutches and followed us into the back room where I carefully laid Taylor's delicately built body down on the corner bench.

"How is he?"

"He is very weak. He really needs to eat something and to rest for a while."

Santiago sat down next to Taylor, put a pillow under his head, then grabbed his wrist to feel his pulse rate.

"Ok, we'll let him sleep until it's finished. Nathaniel! Go and make something to eat for Blade and his brother! And you Blade, go and bring Bandito inside! Shoo!"

I wasn't even a minute there and he was bossing around like no other, but like me Santiago also never wasted his time with long speeches.

"I'm doing it. And you don't let him out of sight! Got it?!"

I ordered with emphasis before I hurried back to my car for Bandito. He needed me as much Taylor did and I didn't want to leave them alone. The moment I lifted my injured dog up from the back seat he began to choke again.


Not a moment to soon, I teared the car door next to him open, just in time for him to throw up.

I should have seen it coming. I had taken my dog with us because it would have been too risky to leave him at my brothel and pick him up later. When Taylor was with me, I not only had to take care of him I also had to avoid occurrences which might harm Taylor's reputation, so I couldn't go to my brothel with him at daytime. Taylor and Bandito's condition had gotten worse in the last couple hours, it was high time for them to get some rest.

I stroked Bandito's back and held him while he threw up into the curb drainage gutter.

As I thought of Taylor who looked so pale and fragile I felt a hard, hurting knot building up in my stomach.

Why the hell was I such a clueless idiot when it comes to deal with emotions?

Yes he left me alone back then, but I had judged Taylor's choices without knowing his reasons.

"You probably internally make fun about me the whole time... right?"

Taylor's innocent, embarrassed voice still ecchoed in my head.

No Taylor, you are the one who can make fun about me, once you know me better, that's for sure.

Fuck Blade, you are such an idiot!

I felt sweat building up on my palms and my back. What the fucking fuck had I done?

Instead of giving him a feeling of safety, I had scared the hell out of him.

How the hell could I expect him to give me an explanation in his current state?!

Especially after how I treated him? He just lost his pregnant wife and had some sicko on his tail on top of that!

What a fucked up brother I was... I was responsible for him and pushed him even deeper into his misery. The years of hate and loneliness had made me blind, even though he showed interest in me from day one, since we met.

Even though, the past had left it's traces on me, I felt at that moment that I had forgiven Taylor by now. He would talk about his reason with me, once he was ready for it. But whatever it was, he would still be my brother. I would be there for him and give him everything he needed until he wouldn't need me anymore someday. From now on, the black sheep of the family would try to make things right!

I couldn't allow myself to fall in despair of guilt, coz I had to be there for Taylor.

Hopefully, something to eat would finally give him strength back...

I stroked Bandito's back until he was finished. Luckily, he recovered quickly after his ejection. As he noticed the familiar area, he immediately limped towards the bar, happily wagging it's tail to greet Santiago like usual. I locked my car and gave the area one last glance of appraisal before I entered the bar again and headed back to his back room.

"Shall we let your brother sleep here and sit back down in the front area?" Santiago raised his head up to me while he greeted Bandito who was happily walking in a circle around his leg.

"No, I don't want let him wake up with no one around him. He's too fragile and has a high startle response in his current state, so I don't want to let him alone."

Santiago agreed. "He shouldn't be alone in this case."

"Yeah." I sat down opposite him, Taylor was peacefully sleeping between us, his lashes fluttering like butterflies against his cheeks and his blond hair shimmered around his angelic face like a halo. His eyebrows were long and beautifully curved in a fine feminine arch, he had the longest blond eyelashes I had ever seen.


Instinctively, I took his hand and held it in mine. I didn't know if Taylor could feel it, but he should know that he wasn't alone.

As Santiago's noticed my gesture, he nodded his approval.

"So you two finally put an end to your dispute?"

"Yeah we actually get along now, surprise, surprise. But I need your advice anyway."

"Get cracking!"

"I don't know how to help my brother to get used to me. I can feel that he cannot accept me as his bodyguard."

"Because he's your brother." He ended.

"Yes, he's my two years older brother."

"I see. For sure that's not an easy situation."

"Well, you know I protect him and I won't abandon this job, but there is no hope for us if he can't accept me."

"I don't know your brother, but I can imagine that it makes him feel useless, coz you do what he considers as his job."

The old smartass came straight to the point. Good thing until now his advices never led me wrong. He didn't know Taylor yet, all I he knew about him were a few memories of our past. The story about my family and what happened when Taylor left me. Hopefully Santiago could help me this time too.

My brother and me are both pretty level headed. Taylor has never been overly protective, he didn't suffer the older brother syndrome, but it didn't change the fact that he cared for me. I had no problem to be the protective brother and to take care of Taylor. I've always had a strongly marked and distinct protective instinct about my family.

The problem was that Taylor and I hadn't seen each other for a very long time and slowly acquainted with each other. Perhaps that's what our situation made a little different. The latest incidents showed me that I couldn't expect Taylor to deal with our twisted situation that easily. It hurt me that I was the person who caused my brother to feel ashamed and embarrassed. I really hoped that it wouldn't remain a problem between us.

"We already are on the road to recovery about that, but what's most important is that he'll accept me as his bodyguard. Otherwise this job can't work. I look at the black side about our relationship and cooperation as long as he doesn't accept me. So what shall I do? Buy myself an 'older siblings suck' shirt?"

To be honest it was strange to me to talk about that subject because it wouldn't be necessary if Taylor could see that family should always have a higher priority than a reputation. I didn't intend to look down at him but in those moments it felt to me like was my younger brother because he apparently forgot the value of family which our parents had taught us. Taylor felt like I would raise him and I knew that. But it wouldn't be necessary if he realized what really mattered.

"Well, he's your brother no matter what. But considering your brother is a famous superstar, he has his pride on the line and it might be a loss of his reputation if the public will get to know about it. And from now on, you stand in the public with him by his side, so both of you would be affected. Also, the twisted situation between the two of you are is indeed a not so common thing."

"We don't plan to tell the media about it, but we have to deal with it between us. Anyway! We're not children anymore and our age difference shouldn't matter anymore by now."

"That is true. It doesn't need to be a bad thing as long as you both can deal with it. But everyone has another way to deal with things and what we need to get used to something, depending on how sensitive things are for us."

"I realized that already. But no matter if he's my little brother, big brother, whatever. Things wouldn't be different no matter what age I have and he has. So I don't kow what I can do to help him to get over his shame."

To be honest, I believe that Taylor's worries and his sensitivity is caused by his fear. He was afraid that people would judge and laugh about him. It didn't matter for me that Taylor was a shy and sensitive guy because I was here to accept him and not to change him. But the prejudice hit and hurt me as much as him as long as he allowed it to influence him.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to trust Taylor, as long as I wasn't completely sure that accepted me. We were both completely different persons with completely different lives. While my brother was a famous idol and passionate about his music carreer, I, on the other hand, preferred to stay out of the society in my private life.

I had never thought about to change places with Taylor, I was absolutely fine with it how things were.

It didn't interest me if people found me weird or not because of that. And even if I'd be famous too, it wouldn't change my opinion. Maybe, some people might find me confusing and
wondered why I stay out of the society in my private life or when my world view had become such a negative image in their eyes. But they often misunderstood me, coz the truth was, I didn't have a negative worldview. I just saw things realistically. To me it wasn't the world that had changed. There were always good and bad humans. It's the same as it ever was.

So yeah, for sure I could imagine that Taylor would have to expect to get stupid comments if the society and in particular his fans once the media would get to know that I protected him. They'd probably not only make fun of him, but also consider him as a ruthless and careless person while I would get titled as the criminal, self-destructive, drug addicted pimp brother which was at least the truth in my case.

For sure, news like that would cause some people to judge us, without reminding that we're independent adults which decide about their lives by themselves. People always find reasons to judge someone.

Anyway! No matter how indifferent my opinion was what the media would write about me, I absolutely didn't want to drag Taylor's name through the dirt. Not only because it was my job to care about that, but also because he's my brother. I never gave a shit of what society thought of me and to stand at Taylor's side in public from now on will not change my attitude,
but Taylor shouldn't need to deal with other people's prejudices as long as he wasn't strong enough to deal with them.

Just because I could deal with that bodyguard job unproblematically, I couldn't tell which idiotic things the society and his fans would say about my older brother if they'd get to know about us and how much it would have an effect on his reputation.

At least Taylor was willing to deal with it between us and in the small circle of our friends. Though I internally wished that he could deal with me no matter what my appearance and my age was, I had to keep in mind that the burden for him was obviously heavier to carry than for me about that. I really didn't want to make things harder for Taylor. And I didn't want anyone to think of him as pathetic because of his little brother's protection. I'm aware that it's the same ugly prejudice just like his shame towards me.

That's why it was a very hard time for both of us as long as he couldn't stand above his pride and just let go. Tay was a very gentle and sensitive guy but I really liked him that way. I was convinced that we could get along very well and get over the burdens of the past if we'd find a way to help each other. And if he'd find a way to deal with me in the first place.

"I agree. Well, I don't know your brother, but I'd say soldier you have to show him that you need him just like he needs you. You know what I'm talking about."

He gave me a long glance. He was talking about my drug addiction. Santiago knew how much I was longing for. I was longing for cocaine since two days.

And that was another problem. Coz I had to be strong for Taylor and I didn't want to let him alone anymore, but I also longed for some time off where I could go to buy some boogar sugar.

The urge was there and it was gaining. And Santiago knew me too well to not know about it.
I wouldn't be able to withstand the temptation much longer. I needed some coke. Very soon.

I couldn't tell if Taylor would ever accept me to work for him as his bodyguard. The subject about me and him was already so sensitive for him and we needed several conversations about it until things finally began to loosen between us.

Who knows if he'd still trust me if he'd know that I'm a drug addict? It has always been against my own principles not to be honest, but now I was in a position in which Taylor's life was dependent from his trust to me. His life was at stake. Taylor's trust to me might decide about life or death.

I was responsible for him, I couldn't risk to lose it.

"I can't tell him about it yet. He just began to trust me and it might destroy his trust again towards me which we just built up. You know that there's some sicko following him and in his current dangerous life situation, I cannot risk to lose his trust. Besides, he has too many things ahead of him that he doesn't need my shit on top of that."

"I know that you're responsible for him Blade. In that case, you should wait, but find the right time and don't wait too long with it. I don't know him, so I can't know what he thinks about you, but he should know about it anyhow. It's not that difficult to know that."

"Yeah. I know." I sighed, stroking Bandito's head with my other hand.

I wanted to make things right, but my cocaine addiction was something I couldn't get rid off.

I can't drown my demons of that addiction inside of me, they know how to swim...

Man, I really needed to get a fix of coke...

I was about to tell Santiago that I badly needed some snow, whether he agreed it with it or not, but at that moment Taylor woke up. At first his lank fingers slowly began to move in my hand, then I saw his blond eyelashes fluttering again. His hand that was still lying in mine looked elegant and feminine and his fingernails were incredible clean and neat. Even his skin was lighter and his hand felt thinner and softer than mine. I've never met a man with such incredible soft hands, they were like angel pillows wrapped in rose petals.

He looked like such a dainty princess in his sleep... I could very well imagine that he could easily enchant people with his gentleness and purity. Taylor was the very picture of innocence. It makes the roughest man sound like a poet just to describe my brother's beauty.

"Hey little angel," I greeted him when he opened his sleepy eyes and turned his angelic face in my direction.

"Hey," he breathed his greeting like a soft breeze, then looked questioning from me to Santiago, his ocean blue eyes wondering what was going on. Even though I'm Taylor's younger brother, his innocent appearance always caused my protective instinct to awake and made me want to take care of him. I guessed if Taylor would be my younger brother we wouldn't need to deal with all that shit. The psychological pressure for both of us about our small age difference formed a wish inside of me. Why, just why couldn't I be a little older than him to make an end of all that trouble? For sure things would be a lot easier between us if I was. But like Taylor said, we couldn't change things the way the are. The truth was we couldn't control any shit. All I had was a wish inside of me, I wish I didn't dare to speak out because there was no hope in my life.

"Hey Kiddo," Santiago gave Taylor a friendly nod.

"Tay, that's my friend Santiago Boleyn whom I told you about." I gesticulated in an animalistic manner towards Santiago to cheer Taylor up and he smiled a little.

"Hello Mr. Boleyn, what a pleasure to finally meet you. Zac, I mean Blade and my manager Skye told me about you. I wished I would have had the honor to get to know you earlier. I'm sorry about my physical, weak appearance. I hope I didn't cause any inconveniences for you."

Taylor reached his pale hand out to Santiago, his voice sounded even more weak and throathy now. Yet he was still able to introduce himself in his usual charming way. Santiago looked a little confused about Taylor's well-spoken introduction and I chuckled to myself. The old man wasn't used to such formal introductions, both of us had our own rough ways to deal with our business.

"Taylor, nice to meet you too." Santiago shook Taylor's hand that was trembling slightly. "You have a really polite brother Blade." He praised Taylor and then looked at me sideways. Granted, Taylor and I couldn't be more different. I was aware my appearance wasn't like someone from the sunny side of town, but more like someone who was hit by his casket lid a few times too much onto his head because of some hard bullshit I went through. I didn't care if I looked like a lazy bum next to my genteel, always well-dressed brother 'cause I liked myself that way. I've always been a hard working man who didn't care about outer appearances.

"I know, he is a dainty princess even when he isn't sleeping." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"My brother always had a thing for teasing people," Taylor gave Santiago a shy smile as he helped him to sit up.

"That I know." The old man immediately replied, gave me a knowing side glance and I smirked my best prankster smile.

"He sometimes teases me with all kinds of princess names because I've always loved an elegant life style..." Taylor humbly explained the first steps of our introductory game. Since we had talked about his girly features he had begun to be much more eased and open about it.

"And my brother considers me as a primitive Neanderthal." I retorted bluntly.

"Touché!" Taylor replied with a weak smile and even the grumpy old man grinned somewhat.

"Oh um, how did I come here?" Taylor asked confused and began to look curiously around with his big blue eyes like an amazed child in a toy store. I could understand why Taylor's appeareance has a magnetic radiance for many people. He had that innocent child-like curiosity on him which made it easy for most people to like him. He could easily get excited about simple things which was truly adorable. Somehow his curious appareance reminded me sometimes of an innocent child that experienced everything for the first time. I couldn't say if it was his babylike face and his over polite manner of speaking. He was just a naturally polite and delicate guy with a touch of mystery that fascinated me.

"I carried you inside and you were fallen asleep. Don't you remember?"

"Oh yes, I remember..." Taylor's cheeks got a girlishly, rosey color at the memory. "My brother is very protective." he muttered, looking at Santiago with worry.

"Well, he should be. He is your bodyguard." Santiago answered resolutely. He could see that Taylor felt a little awkward so he rubbed his back a little to give him some reassurance. I sighed heavily but kept my hurting thoughts to myself because Taylor was more sensitive and child like than I was. I was always thinking of Taylor in a protective way. As if I was his big brother. It was like the most natural thing to me to take care of him.

I guessed it was a good thing that I got a code name in the Army. If I didn't have an ID with my code name Blade Léon Caziano, Taylor and I would have even bigger problems. Sure, he might use any invented name to introduce me to his circle of friends but that wouldn't work for appointments with the media or the police. And if he introduced me as Zac Hanson and just said we just have the same family name by pure chance, it would be questionable if people believed that. I didn't mind getting introduced as Blade Caziano, because I liked my name and was used it but still, it hurt me that Taylor didn't want to tell anyone that I was his brother.

"This I admit is true. Zac, why do you look so sad? What are you thinking of?" Taylor suddenly asked,
worried and painful emotions crossing his angelic face.

"Sorry about your pain Taylor. I wish I would be your big brother, so I could take it away." I said with a protective voice, hoping Taylor would understand that I wanted to help him to feel better and not hurt him. My brotherly instinct just couldn't hold my intense protective feelings for him back anymore. It goes without saying that I wanted to ease my brother's pain. Perhaps like a big brother... although our age difference never mattered to me.

I looked at Taylor, feeling even more protective of him as
I saw him getting emotional and his beautiful blue eyes tearing up.

"You already are like one Zachary..." he whispered with his delicate voice like a gentle waft as he returned my look understandingly. Tay was getting so easily emotional that it amazed me sometimes how innocent he was for his age. Sometimes he really appeared to me as if he grew up in a glass house and never seen anything cruel in his life. I felt the urge to give him reassurance just by the look of his innocent appearance.

The fact that he was so sensitive equally astonished and worried me. My own private life offered nothing but danger and violence. Way too rough for a highly sensitive guy like Taylor.

Instinctively I grabbed his shoulder protectively to soothe him quite natural. Taylor touched my hand in an instant and leaned his cheek against it. He closed his blue eyes, began to hum a quiet melody and softly played with my fingers like he was playing piano. I really liked the mild mannered personality of my androgynous brother and
I believe the physical contact helped him to brace himself. Taylor's gentle side has always been one of the things I liked the most about him and I swore
by everything that's holy to me that I hoped he'd never think he needed to change to impress me in any way.

Being Taylor's bodyguard made me feel protective of him and I had begun to like that feeling. Yeah, I liked having a place in a family. Yet, I didn't know if Taylor would ever be able to deal with my protection. Considering how sensitive he was, it was difficult to say how things would turn out.

Unfortunately that was not the only unsettling thought which occured to me in this moment. As Taylor nestled up to me like a little brother in need for protection, I wished to enjoy the feeling to make him feel safe, but I couldn't feel a brotherly bond to him despite how adorable he was because I began to ask myself if Taylor had begun trying to pretend that I was his big brother at times, so that he could easier deal with our twisted roles.

I really hoped that he didn't pretend. I don't want to live with a lie between us. My agreement to get introduced as Blade Caziano was the only consideration I could give Taylor at that time.

Nevertheless, I knew that we had to avoid this subject for a while, because Taylor needed to get better so I gave him the comfort and protection that he needed. Guess you could say it was princess time.

"By the way where is Bandito? Is he ok?" Taylor startled, opened his eyes and quickly looked around, his expression suddenly concerned.

"Don't worry, he is here Taylor." I nodded towards Bandito who lied at our feet.

"Thank god. It was just a dream." He sighed relieved, leaned his head on the pillow again.

"How do you feel now, little fay?" I asked as he tucked a long blond strand of hair behind his ear which blocked his view. Taylor smiled a little, he seemed to like the name. I was really worried about him and his condition because he still looked so pale and exhausted. He looked like a blond angel which couldn't fly anymore because he was too weak. I felt responsible for him even though it was very bitter for me that he couldn't accept me. But my dark soul had so many scars already that I guessed it didn't matter anymore if there were a few more anyway. I would have to find another way to ease my pain, 'cause Taylor's health condition was all that mattered right now. I had to be strong for him.

"Thirsty." He croaked, looking up at me with his blue eyes. Taylor was more fragile than I thought...

"Nathaniel!" Santiago shouted loudly towards the kitchen. A few seconds later, his kitchen boy brought us some glasses with water.

"And you soldier, get your lazy ass up and help Nathaniel to lay the table!"

"Why does he call you soldier?" Taylor looked at us questioning as I let go of his hand and stood up.

"We were together in the Army. People tend to not like him coz he's always right."

"Not many can deal with your stubbornness either." The old man retorted unimpressed.

"Like I told you." I shrugged before I hurried towards the kitchen.

inspiration for this Chapter gave us this quote from Zac:

previous Chapter 51                                                                                                                                                                next Chapter 53

Chapter Overview: Link
Tags: dave grohl, fan fiction, foo fighters, hanfic, hanson, taylor hanson, the bodyguard, zac hanson, zaylor
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