Title: THE BODYGUARD
Warnings: Language, Death, Crime
Chapter Overview: Link
About the Story: The death of their parents broke Taylor and Zac apart. Each of them went his own way of life, Taylor became a famous superstar and never thought that his profession would bring his life in danger someday. Blade (Zac) buried the past and lived his life contentedly in his dark and dirty world as a pimp. Because of some unexpected circumstances Blade got hired as Taylor's bodyguard and the brothers saw each other for the first time after almost a decade. How will they overcome the shadows of the past?
Excerpt: Zac... "What happened to Peter Pan?"
Authors Notes: Update Chapter 50! Next Chapter in the following days. Enjoy ♡
previous Chapter 49
Things had gotten much more relaxed since Zac and me started talking. Not only talking, for me it was healing. He let me know that he didn't want me to talk about Mam and Dad until I was feeling better and I couldn't be more grateful for his consideration. I highly appreciated that he even wanted to apologize to me, even though I didn't talk with him yet.
As I finally became acquainted to his semi-normal side, I noticed that we seemed to be in a similar state of things somehow. There was more about him to know and I hoped to find it out in the course of time. The thing that worried me the most about my brother was his indifference about himself.
When he told me he wasn't afraid to die, he sounded vacuous, but deep down I sensed that it was sadness. Our conversation and the whole situation had made me sad too. I wasn't strong enough to hold back the emotions which sneaked out of my eyes and rolled down my rosey cheeks after his last words.
We had spent the last ten minutes in a traffic jam without moving forward, so I used the opportunity to ask him something.
"Blade, would you do me favor?" I said so softly, I nearly couldn't actually hear the words.
"Would you hold my hand? Just for a sec?"
I reached out my thin hand to him as if I would want to seal an agreement that way, but the truth was that I just wanted to feel his hand one more time, to get a little bit affection of which I longed for so much these days. Likewise, I wanted to make him feel that I was there for him like he was for me.
"No," he shook his head. "I will hold you in my arms."
Instead of taking my hand, he leaned over to me and gave me a hug.
Our first hug after nine long years since I said goodbye to him when he drove to the summer camp in Montana.
Was it possible to express how much that hug meant?
Not even close. Overwhelmed by my feelings, I pulled him closer to me in an instant. Our hug was more important for me than any other treasure in the whole world.
I had my brother back. My family. And he actually cared for me.
We cared about each other. In this moment I hoped from all my heart that this wasn't a dream and I was about to wake up.
"I... I don't know what to do without you Blade. I've never felt so helpless before like when I was stuck in the massive crowd outside the barber's shop. I don't know what's happening but I feel so weak and defenseless without you..." I whispered muffled into the cotton of his leather jacket.
"Let me be there for you Taylor, okay?" He answered in an instant with a brotherly voice.
I couldn't answer him to that coz I knew that deep down the voice of reason in my head couldn't agree. I could never agree. I loved my brother too much to sign his death warrant. I would have to find a way to get rid off him, no matter how much it would break my broken heart again. The thought of losing him again made me want to stay in his comforting protective arms forever.
I buried my face in his right shoulder and started crying, my narrow shoulders shaking in weakness. Zachary held me tight as I sobbed in his arms. I was crying, great heaving sobs, it seemed I was crying now more readily than I'd ever cried in my life, tears coming more easily than they had ever come, I clinged to him like a helpless child and sobbed my heart out feeling broken and lost. Maybe other guys would have laughed about me in my situation but not Zachary. He didn't care what other people thought of us and consoled me until I felt better.
"Oh Zac..." Inaudibly I mouthed his name into his shoulder that he couldn't hear it. I felt ashamed that I couldn't hold back my tears again. But tears didn't hurt so bad like that strange pain in my chest.
My little brother was ready to die for me, he was full of resolution to do it, if necessary and I didn't know how to deal with it...
"Sorry, I know I shouldn't cry in front of you..." I apologized whimpering. Perhaps I appeared like a total softy compared to him but I just couldn't hold back all these emotions inside me. He was the only one who was there for me and I just wanted to feel our hug in this very moment. I needed a strong shoulder to cry on, forget everything else and let my emotions out. Zac was like a rock, he would hold me in his arms even if the world go down. The tears were running down my face because I did not want to lose my brother. He pulled his head back a bit, to look at me with his face directly in front of mine.
"Don't feel ashamed of your tears Tay!" He commanded with firmness and leaned his forehead against mine for a moment. He then took his sleeve and wiped the droplets gently away with it from my cheeks. This little brotherly gesture almost made me wanna cry even more. Fortunately, I managed to brace myself, took a deep breath and gave him a thankful nod instead.
"You called me Tay!" I noticed suprised as he let go off me.
"Sure, did you think I forgot your nickname?"
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I guess I'm just not used to hear it anymore from you. Or that you would think I only had this nickname in my teenager years."
"You don't like to hear it anymore?"
"No, I like it! I really do. By the way, I'm missing it to call you Zac. It's fine with me to call you Blade around other people, but I'd like to call you Zac again... at least... between the two of us."
Since I had my brother back, it was an internal wish from me. Actually, I didn't plan to broach that subject until we talked about Mam and Dad, but I didn't know if he'd still want to consider me as his brother after that. And how much longer I would be with him together. I felt that I didn't want this special period of time in which we were together, not only spent as Blade and Taylor.
I had begun to long for Zac.
"Perhaps it's better not to take the risk, that you'll get used to it again."
"I swear that I'll be very careful. You know that I'm the last person who wants the public to get to know about that." I assured, conspiratorially holding up my pinkie to seal the deal. He definitely didn't need to remind me of that.
"Yeah I know. I'm just not used to it anymore. That teenager boy died in me one day back then."
Blade's cold words built a knot in my stomach. I felt so sorry to hear that. There was something deep inside my brother that I wanted to dig up...
"I miss the old happy you." I mentioned quietly and threw him an unobtrusive look as I waited for his answer, but he was blankly focussing the traffic outside again.
"I don't remember him." He replied somberly.
All of a sudden had his voice that vacuous, monotone tone again which I didn't like. Blade was like a lonely wolf who had become suspicious towards everyone.
"What happened to Peter Pan?" I asked empathetically. It was weird and confusing to see my brother in a thoughtful mood and I didn't know what to think of him when he was like that. But I wanted him to know that I was interested in his life, just like he was there for me.
"He died when Tinker Bell flew away."
Even though he teased me for my girlyness again, I didn't felt annoyed or offended anymore since we talked about our differences and my feminine features. Maybe also because I have always been a more patient and empathetic guy than Zachary was. I knew that I always had girly things in my attitude, appearance and fashion sense and he was actually the first one who made me feel comfortable about my feminine side.
Furthermore, Zac was just honest. I had left him alone and I was full of guilt feelings because of that. I wished I would see a possibility to make up to him, but I didn't even know if that was possible, knowing that I couldn't make use of my wish to keep him and ignore the dangerous situation. It made me so endlessly sad for both of us...
"Maybe he is not lost completely. If you give him a chance to find back to yourself..." I said as softly as I could. I wanted letting him know how understanding and empathetic I could be.
"I don't think that's possible Taylor. Those memories are somewhere, far, far away by now."
"I just don't want to give up on him. Can you understand that?"
"I guess. I just doubt that it's a good thing. Besides that, everyone has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were."
Zachary was right with every word he said. The person he was today was the person he had become without me.
"I just would like you to give him a chance to come back in the course of time." I said. The truth was I just wanted him to be happy again.
"I know. But I'm not that person anymore. Why are you so obsessed about it?"
"Perhaps I just don't want to believe that he doesn't exist anymore."
Since I met my brother, I never saw him smiling. He was clowning around a little with his sports magazine in the barber shop, but he wasn't smiling. And he still seemed to be someone who would never put on a smile if it wasn't real. Whether it was for manners or something else.
I wished I could take his sadness away...
Because I wanted to see him smiling again. At least for once. I didn't know if I would ever get lucky again, but sometimes the most broken people try to fix others because they don't know how to fix themself...
"You are still a dreamer and an eternal optimist Taylor."
"Are these bad features?" I asked, slightly perplexed. He was very good at hiding his emotions, even more because most times he spoke in the same flat voice. No up and downs, just one straight line.
"No. Not at all."
I closed my tired eyes for a few minutes. It felt so good to be not lonely anymore. If only, I could stop the time to keep these precious moments with him...
I stroked my hair back with my hand with a deep sigh as I noticed a pink blossom falling out of my hair. I caught it with my hand, held it in my palm and kept it there as though it was the last piece of a lost treasure. "It's a pity..." I sighed sadly, thinking of Isabelle's flowers which were gone now. In the thick of the fray, someone must have teared them away from me, or maybe I lost them while I was getting pushed. I believe I didn't remember anymore what exactly happened.
"What do you mean?"
"The pretty flowers from the little girl... they're gone. They were so beautiful."
"Sorry about that flower princess. But the main thing is you're safe." He emphasized firmly. Zac often hit the mark with his nicknames for me. I'm romantic. Like, girly love novelist romantic. I write songs in my head about Valentine's and beautiful romantic gestures. Only my best friend Skye knows and I'll be damned if he'll ever let any of my other friends know. The thing that people do know is that I love cooking and baking. I think you should do what you love. If you like poetry write it. I know I'm into it.
After Zac emphasized the importance of my safety I turned sideways and laid my hand over his right hand which laid on the joystick between us.
"Thank you Blade. I'm really grateful that you saved me out of that crowd. I shouldn't have forgotten to thank you for that."
I leaned the side of my head deeper into the headrest to study his changed profile for a while.
Somehow, he looked even more grown up since I got the chance to get to know my brother a little bit more. He was a strong and manly type whether he had scruff on his face or not. It wasn't enough that he had a better built than me, Skye was right; he was also terribly handsome. I looked up to the man who was my younger brother. His face was without a blemish, and his facial hair gave him a manly and mature look.
Even though his hair was longer than mine, this thick brown mane was far more masculine. Deep down, I know that as manly as I consider myself, I'll never be as manly as he is. Even though only two years seperated us, it was as if he came from a different generation. I could remember that Zac has always been workmanlike oriented, he liked solid handwork and would rather get his hands dirty like an auto repair-guy instead of doing something like stuffy office work. Even as his brother I could tell his manliness was appealing. He looked so grubby with a 5 o' clock shadow. A wild rocker type like him would actually be my type...
“What a pair we made,” I thought. While he has always been into shooting and fighting, I was always into singing and dancing...
I noticed that he always repeatedly checked the side view mirror if anyone followed us and never lost his concentration.
His eyes were still impentrable in a way. They were older and more distant than I had ever known them. He must have locked away his feelings somewhere deep inside of him, it needed a lot of empathy to reach them. His eyes weren't the same anymore from the teenager boy I once knew. That teenager boy...
"Zac..." He suddenly piped up as if he actually could have read my thoughts. His voice was low and raspy and sounded as if he didn't speak for a long time.
"I want you to call me Zac again." Even though he didn't spoke much, he always dominated a conversation.
"Are you serious?" I frowned at him.
"This time I am."
He actually agreed. The tires were screeching as he immediately gathered speed when we could finally continue driving. I didn't know if it were my efforts for his old self which made him to agree, but it gave me hope that there was a chance for Zac's old happiness. If the remained time we had together was long enough until the cruel reality would catch up on us again...
"Zachary..." I said in a dreamy voice like a softly blowing breeze for the very first time after nine long years...
"Nothing. It just feels good to say it. To actually hear your real name again and not only in my thoughts."
"You amaze me sometimes, do you know that?" A little smile played around the corners of his mouth that disappeared almost as fast as it appeared.
"Do I?" I asked in a quiet voice that was shy of breath, preferring to be modest about my advanced skill.
"Yes. Always have and still do."
"And you're never never afraid to speak out what you think. I admire you for that." I humbly complimented him back.
"I thought you would have changed Taylor, but you didn't change much. And I like that." He responded with a familiar, brotherly look that meant the world to me.
"Thanks Zac. But still, our roles are twisted..."
"Yeah, I know."
"And you don't mind that?"
"No I don't. I feel that it's my assignment to take care of you."
I still had to think and contemplate about that fact.
"Zachary Walker Hanson, my protective little brother..." I uttered the words absently and let my eyes drifting outside to the street. The entire situation still felt confusing to me. Who would have thought a week ago that I’d be in the position I am in now?
The dynamic between the two of us may have changed, but maybe he just needs that leadership role...
"Yeah." Zac agreed without hesitation. He sounded so natural about it that it made me wish I could also deal with our twisted roles that easy like he could. To me on the other hand it felt sometimes like I became more shy and insecure in my position while he became more confident than he already was as time was passing by. Not in a negative way though, I actually liked that he was so protective. I was just a little shy of the effects on me and afraid of the consequences on him. I guess that's what made me so angsty. I didn't know if what we did was right and if everyone would lose respect toward me if they knew the truth about me and Blade. But most important, I didn't want to become the guilty one for his possible injuries or even worse... his death. I felt myself trembling at the thought.
"There we are princess." He announced our arrival and steered his Lamborghini into a parking lot. Because of the conversation we had, I didn't even notice that we were already there. I immediately felt my heart beating faster, because internally I knew that I wouldn't make it alone outside the car. Why had this drive be over so soon?
"Zac, do you ever get that feeling when you're on a car trip that you never want to get where you're going? That you never want it to end?" I asked, letting my dreamy eyes drift outside.
"Yeah, a long time ago." Zachary answered quietly. I knew I was the reason for his impenetrability and distrust. Thinking of the past and the recent happenings was so bitter to me.
"Do you have that feeling right now?" He asked.
I nodded. "I do daydreaming sometimes, my fantasy world is like an addiction..." I sighed bemused and just then, as if in cooperation, the clouds moved off the sun and bathed the street in light. I liked how the sun made everything look lighter and friendlier. Every day when the sun goes up it's like a beginning of a new day free of guilt and mistakes. Somehow that thought always gives me hope...
Blinking I turned my head back to Zac and looked up to him with apologizing eyes. I wish we could share more nice moments together. But unfortunately every road has an end...
"I've always liked your dreaminess Tay." He replied, once again caring more about my feelings than his own. I smiled meekly at him to express my thankfulness. My younger brother was so responsible minded.
"Just don't run away from the reality or you will eventually get run over by it." He added as if he already presumed what's going to happen next.
"I guess... I mean..." I took a deep breath before I continued. "There's something I have to confess you..." I began bashfully.
Gosh, how do I say this?
"What is it?"
My stomach churned with nervousness.
"I...I don't think I'm strong enough to walk anymore."
"I'll carry you into the bar." The speed and clarity of his answer let me know that he hadn't even thought about if it was weird or not.
"But it's so embarrassing..." I whined, feeling my cheeks heaten up only at the thought of it. I felt helpless, vulnerable and out of control.
"You can change that by yourself if you're going to eat something Taylor."
"I want to, but I don't think I can."
"Would you try it for me? Try it for me Taylor, ok?"
How could I say no to that?
"I will try it. Oh gosh... please excuse me that I'm so weak..." I feebly apologized, full of shame and tilted my head down as if this could help to hide my ashamed expression. I looked down at my hands and slowly opened my palm. Like in a haze I watched the pink blossom falling down on the floor between my legs. Dreaming in my fancy I felt weak and delicate as if was one of those tender flowers because of my strength which was slowly fading away from me...
I didn't know if I could still consider myself as Zachary's big brother at this point. I guessed I was 'little bro Tay' at best. Zac often gave me girly nicknames, he seemed to have an endless supply of nicknames for me. Maybe he thought I was gay. He considered every second man as gay though, so I didn't take it very serious.
But why did my heart race so fast every time I thought about that I was Zachary's client? Was it only my fear or could this be actually the way it should be? What if this was our common destiny?
There were so many questions in my mind and I didn't know the answers.
"You don't need to apologize because of that Taylor. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
I detected the protective tone in Zac's voice and it gave me the confidence to face him again. "Honest...?" I whispered, shyly looking up to him, aware that my flushed cheeks must have been as pink as the blossoms from the flower bouquet. Anxious and uptight I sat there in the passenger seat like a timid fawn that was afraid to come out of his den. My arms were tightly wrapped around my waist and I felt as stiff as I must have looked like. Gosh, I'm such a softie...
Zachary nodded and laid a hand on my shoulder. "I assure you I protect you Taylor and you don't need to be ashamed of that."
I took a deep shivering breath before I answered him. "I will try to get used to it Zac. I know now that you don't laugh about me."
"I never would."
Once he had checked there were no cars coming, he undid his seatbelt and popped the driver's side door open. He got out of the car and walked to the other side to help me out of it. Zac was right that I wouldn't get better if I'd continue refusing to eat something.
We were back in the Red Light district like last night and it was only a small distance from his car to the bar. Internally, I wished I'd still have the strength to walk, but I knew my weak body didn't. It was more sensible to be honest with him before my legs would give in on the pavement within the passing passersby in public. Like a clumsy child I began to fumble with my seatbelt. It seemed that everything I put my hands on didn't work because I felt tensed for every small issue.
As Zac opened the car door on the passenger side he noticed my trouble.
"Do you need a hand with that?"
“No… I can… Hnngg… Gah. Okay, please help...” I eventually gave up. I would never have a knack for this stupid technical stuff!
"Sure. Put your hands up." He instructed before he helped me to unlock my seatbelt.
"Thanks big brother." I jokingly said and looked up to him a little nervous. Very timidly I raised my hand to him unthinking of the fact that I must have looked like I was a princess who was offering her hand to get a handkiss. I still felt a little insecure to get out but Zachary took my hand like a knight and pulled my arm firmly around his back. Even though it felt strange that I was being protected by my little brother who was not only my bodyguard but also a soldier I liked it when he treated me gallantly. I realized the harder I tried to pull myself together the more I felt myself weaken.
As Zachary bent down to me to lift me up I let out a quiet embarrassed whimper, praying he wouldn't hear it. But he remained calm and focussed on what he was doing the whole time. May god forgive me my sensitivity...
I didn't want to get out of the car but I knew that I was too weak to walk on my own. I needed my little brother's help.
"You... uhm... really don't mind carrying me, Zac?" I bashfully asked with shaky words. I should better not let anyone know about this aside from those who already knew about it. If anyone else would find about that, I would have to somehow change my name and whole identity while moving to Bumblefuck or something.
Oh Taylor... what are you thinking? I suddenly felt very guilty because of my own thoughts. Internally, I knew it was a diva-ish behavior to think this way. Why couldn't I get over my shame? He just saved my life for heaven's sake! And I was acting like a fastidious princess...
Would my fans laugh about me if they knew I was getting carried by my little brother? Why the hell was that such a sensitive subject to me at all?
The endless voices in my head couldn't stop nagging at me. I couldn't blame him if he was thinking that I acted like the first Lady who was waiting for her kiss on the hand and a golden carriage because of my hesitation to get out of the car. No wonder he called me princess...
I suddenly felt so small and ashamed of myself for thinking such horrible things. Meanwhile I felt so weak and fragile that I didn't even know anymore what was going on with me to be honest. I silently watched as he encircled me, wondering was he was thinking of me but I wasn't able to read his thoughts.
"No, I don't. But I won't allow that you give up on yourself." Zac acted resolutely and without hesitation or thinking twice he did his task before I could say or think more. The sensation of the moment hit me with such intensity which I had never expected. I looked at him in silent awe as I suddenly I felt two strong arms wrap around me and lift me in the air. These arms belonged to my younger brother. It was hard not to be intimidated by how strong he was but I wasn't offended. For a short moment I thought I was flying when I suddenly didn't feel the ground under my feet anymore. I've always been a dreamer and proud of it. But this time I wasn't dreaming... Zac was actually carrying me and my feet were dangling in the air.
"Ow!" I complained angrily as my forehead suddenly bumped against the car roof. "Damn Blade, please be gentle!"
"I am being gentle."
"That's what I just experienced." I snorted, rubbing my forehead. Why the hell was he so aggressive in everything he did?
However, there was another important last thing which I needed to know before we would enter the bar, so I couldn't care about my head right now. Conflicting emotions were cursing through me as I thought about getting introduced as my little brother's defenseless protégé to his friend. It was weird how the fact always made my cheeks flush and make me feel guilty at the same. I must have appeared like a little blushing school girl with the constant heat in my rosey cheeks.
"Your friend Santiago, does he know about us Blade?"
"Yes he is the one who brought us in contact."
"Is he trustworthy? I mean, he won't tell anyone about us?" A pulse was throbbing in my temple, and a sudden ray of fear and worry was rising up in me. I swallowed as I looked up to him with fearful anticipation, my fingers tugging nervously at his shirt like a timid child in need for pledge of support. Maybe I needed Zac's protection more than I wanted to admit...
"No he won't. I can assure you that."
"How do you know that?" I frowned at him longing for comfort and confirmation.
"Coz he's my best friend, he's like a father to me since the last nine years. What I tell him, won't get spread around."
"I admit I'm feeling a little anxious..." I remarked timidly. I assumed people don't meet twisted brothers any day. Could anyone ever like us that way?
"Don't be afraid of him Tay, you can talk freely in his company coz he's my family too. It'll be alright." He reassured me and stroked over my hair in a typical big brotherly way. I loved how Zachary always gave me consolation and reassurance which I needed so bad.
I felt more at ease as I heard that and closed my eyes for a second at his touch. "Oh." I breathed astonished. "It's nice that you have someone like that. I guess I owe to thank him in that case." I answered quietly in my uncomfortable position. My younger brother always made me feel like I was his little brother, yet it seemed so completely natural to him. I guess if he was born before me, it wouldn't feel strange to me at all.
"That he was there for you when I wasn't."
Zac gave Bandito a command to wait for him in the car until he would have brought me inside, then he slammed the car door shut with a kick of his shoe just like he did in his hotel room last night and carried me on the sidewalk towards the entrance of the bar. I did not know if he wanted it, but I couldn't help to notice that he reinforced his grasp around me after my last sentence. As if he didn't want to let go off me. He didn't respond something, but I felt that he needed me. He needed me like I needed him.
"You... take care of me...?" I asked feebly and shyly watching him from my horizontal view doing his task. Somehow, I felt so childlike in my helplessness. I felt so vulnerable, so little, and so safe when I felt his body over me.
I didn't even know when my younger brother became such a strong man...
"Of course I do." He answered quite natural. Even though it was still confusing for me, I could feel at that moment how much he was protective of me when he carried me towards the bar. Although, it was always one of my biggest wishes to be with Zachary together again aside from a improvement of Natalie's and my broken marriage, it would have been a such a unbelieveable, strange imagination for me that Zachary would ever become by bodyguard...
But now I felt and experienced his protection. Apparently, it was not always the case that older siblings were the protective ones. Zac and me were the living examples. And in a way it felt like things hadn't changed that much, 'cause I knew that Zachary had always been a protector. Not only because it was a part of his work, he clearly had so much more protective instinct in him than I had. And in the back of my mind, I had to admit I liked it. Zac's protection sent a warm, soft feeling down my spine. As I thought all these things in a split second, pondering if this was all just a dream in my exhaustion and tiredness, the sight of my younger brother's strong upper body inches away from my face told me it was all too real.
My little brother was so protective of me...
"Like a big brother..." I muttered thought-provoking, blinking my eyelids a few times to keep them open.
As I heard that, I realized for the first time that I didn't feel ashamed around him anymore. Sure, I wanted to keep it a secret to the public and I was really glad and thankful that he was fine with it.
To know that he never judged me for my weakness was a relieving thought and I also knew that Zac wasn't someone who inflated his ego on doing that job, which were two important things for me to know in my sensitive state.
The better our relationship became, the more it felt stupid for me that I felt that way. It was still a little confusing and made me a little self-conscious to think of it, but I had finally began to feel comfortable around him. I knew that if I always feel awkward around him, everything would be awkward. And I didn't want to waste our limited, common time with complaining about my shame anymore.
As long as we're together, I wanted to get used to it.
"You know what? We are not normal." I joked, even though I didn't know how much truth there was in it.
"Good, I hope so." He replied dryly as if it was the most natural thing in the world to carry his older brother around. For a second I thought of asking him if I wasn't too heavy for him but I felt so weak and light and he carried me like I was a light fairy that it didn't seem necessary.
"Now it's about time for my daily arsekick," he commented and with a brusque movement he pushed the door open with his back.
"What does that mean?" I yawned. Very hesitantly and carefully, I allowed myself to lean my head against his upper body.
"You're gonna see soon..."
Until now, I had constantly ignored how tired I was. I skipped the point at which I knew how much longer I could keep my limp body upright a long while ago.
"I was wrong Zachary, you're a strong man. I underestimated your skills. You've become so strong and manly..."I tiredly uttered in genuine awe.
"I have to be strong to protect someone. It's my job."
"And what do I do?"
"For now just be there, relax and look purty Mr. Cuteface. I will take care of the rest."
He pinched my flushed cheek playfully and I let out a soft laugh of mild amusement. He was a real macho sometimes. Yet I found myself liking even that side of him. The funny thing about my brother was that he wasn't even aware when he acted that way. Somehow, Zachary was one of those rare guys to me who could even be likeable and radiate sympathy as a macho because of the comical way he conveyed his sayings. I knew that he didn't intend to hurt me.
"You always make me blush Zachary but you make me feel safe and protected." Gently, I gave him a little smile.
"You are a very delicate flower Taylor and you need to be protected."
"Maybe you're right... I don't know if it's because of not eating or my tiredness but I'm feeling so delicate and fragile in your arms. Please forgive me that I can't walk on my own anymore."
"It's okay Tay, you're as light as a delicate butterfly."
"That sounds purty..." I answered dreamily, leaning my head back to watch the slowly passing clouds at the sky. I could feel Zac's shirt at my cheek, it was a little sweaty and I couldn't help but smelling his masculine body scent, wondering if he used a deodorant, but I guessed not. He still seemed to like living like a primate in some ways just like he did when he was younger. Although I'm very different than him at that part, I liked that he had kept many habits and features. It was so Zac... and it was familiar... it felt like I was having a real family again. Only because of Zachary I still had one...
"I thought you would like it."
"It's a beautiful compliment. I would be lost without you Blade..."
How I wished Zachary could be that man... my protector... and my good Samariter...
I whimpered sadly. I knew that I had to forbid myself to start thinking that way.
"Are you tired?" I heard him say, as my eyes slowly shut as if they had a will of their own.
"Yeah. I'm very tired..." I mumbled in dizziness.
"You can pass out if you want, it’s okay." I heard him say, making me feel like I was his little brother once again but never in a bad way. I finally allowed myself to let the picture of a constantly strong image disappear and found myself, in a soft almost feminine voice that came from .. who knows where? .. saying "well, from time to time even princesses need their beauty and relaxation sleep..." I sleepily muttered into his jacket and burrowed my head into his chest. I was too tired to think about what the passerby were thinking about me and him. I enjoyed the sensation of relief. I felt light all over, light headed and protected. A feeling that was almost too beautiful and helped me to forget everything for a while.
My whole attitude towards Zac changed. Somehow he now appeared to me as a really warm, protective and interesting person. I felt that I really wanted to be with him and I wanted to know so much more about Zac's life and to get to know the man who had been his family for the last nine years. Unfortunately my powerless limbs reminded me in this moment again how tired and exhausted I was and my eyelids felt like a lead weight in this lying position.
I didn't take notice anymore how he carried me into the bar. I had found peace. I was fallen asleep in my brother's protective arms...
video inspiration for this Chapter:
Zaylor - Someone's watching over me by Hilary Duff ♡
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